Bring me joy, bring me peace......

Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in you

Maybe since my life was changed
long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
to turn my back on you Oh Lord
my only shelter from the storm
so instead I draw closer through these times

Lyrics by Mercy Me

I love that song! It is my prayer...Lord bring me joy, or bring me peace....or bring me rain....whatever it takes to praise You! I just finished reading the book Facing Terror by Carrie McDonnall. She spoke at Pleasant Valley a few weeks ago and I was so taken by her testimony. I think I have already written on here about her story and how she and her husband David were gunned down in Iraq. She talks about how they knew the dangers but God told them to go and they both were willing to give their lives for Christ. Which, looking back now, is exactly what happened to her husband and three of their missionary friends. As I was reading that I had to stop several times and ask myself....would I be willing to die for the Lord? Am I willing to stand in front of a gunman as he asks me "are you still a Christian?" and answer "yes!" Even knowing that my time here on earth is over the minute I utter those words? I know I have never been faced with that situation, but I also believe that I am willing. I pray for the Lord's will to be done in my life and that I never deny my Savior, nor would I ever resist His calling in my life because of fears. Just like Reggie White said the Lord told him one day, "son, you love your life too much." For me, I have learned that I am only passing through this life. It took me losing some very precious people and things in my life before I sat up and started listening to the Lord. I no longer want what this world has to offer and it is a freedom that only Christ can bring. I will be honest, I don't want to be a martyr for Christ. I want to live a long, happy life and raise my children. But I also want to make a difference in this world. I want to mean something for the cause of Christ. I want to show the glory of the Awesome God I serve to everyone I meet. It is only because of the love of Jesus in my life that I have found true freedom and love and my heart bleeds for those who live in darkness.

I was listening to a sermon one time and the pastor was talking about a missionary named William Borden. He was heir to Borden Dairy Estate and had wealth and power at his finger tips, but he gave it all up to follow Christ. He went to Yale and Princeton Seminary before sailing to China to work with muslims. His family and friends said he was "wasting his life to be a missionary" but to Bill, he wrote in his Bible, "say no to self and yes to God everytime." Within the first month of him arriving he contracted spinal meningitis and died. He was 25 years old. When they found his Bible, it was noticed that he had written these words: No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets. Wow, what a testimony! He gave away his wealth and his power to serve the Lord and many were won by his love and dedication during his college years. I do not understand why God called him home at such a young age. Only God knows why He does things the way He does, but I can trust that His plan is best for my life and for Bill Borden's life and everyone else. The safest place in the world to be is in God's mighty hands. Even if that means death. Even if that means suffering. The world has it wrong. We are taught to think that happiness comes with money and wealth and power and things and people that love us....but oh no....that is so backwards. Happiness comes from the peace of knowing that I can hope in my future.....I can rest in God's loving arms because He holds me tight and when this life is over, I will finally get to see Him face to face. It is as if I am waiting for my life to end to finally get to unwrap my birthday present! Such anticipation! Such joy it will bring! My dad told me one time after a friend of mine committed suicide...he said, "Babe, dying is easy, it is the living that is hard." Yes, he is right. In this world we will have trouble, but oh, praise the Lord that my Savior has overcome the world!

Well, I have been very ill this week. I got what Emmie had, I think. I had to pray everyday for the strength to get out of bed and go to substitute. I don't have insurance or even sick days anymore, so I can't call in, but man, Thursday morning I wanted to call a sub for the sub! I was so sick. My fever has been high, my throat hurts very badly, my cough is awful and my head hurts! And to top it all off I had a HUGE test on Friday morning. However, like I will repeat, God is faithful. I prayed for strength and He provded. I made it through the week subbing and I even got a perfect score on the test. My professor gave us the answers after we took it (took an hour and a half) and I didn't miss one. (I don't think!) I was proud of myself, but I know it is only because of God's grace that I was able to retain anything I had studied because I was on so much cough and cold medicine all week! It is a good feeling to know I have studied hard and then get the test and know all the answers. Susan, Kelly, and I studied for 3 hours Monday after class and we made notecards and then I just read and reviewed those note cards all week. The test was a breeze!!! (And it was all fill in the blank and short answer, which I think is hard!)

Well, I better get going. I managed to get up this morning and clean my house. I ran the sweeper in every room, dusted, swept the kitchen, cleaned the bathrooms, did some laundry, and washed the boy's sheets on their beds. I am exhausted now because that took all my energy, but I am glad I got it finished!