A footstool for my feet...

I was reading my Bible this morning and I am just amazed at something God
taught me. I always start reading a Psalm and this morning it was 110. The very first verse just jumped off the pages of my Bible as I was reading. I could just hear the Lord telling me to read it again. Carefully. It says, "The Lord says to my Lord, "Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet." I kept reading it over and over and trying to understand what that meant. I wrote in the pages of my Bible these words "Be still and wait...sit...all these things that brought me so much and suffering in my life will become my comfort and peace in the end because God will use them to heal me." I really just kept pondering that verse, even as I read the rest of that Psalm. Well, then I read a chapter in Exodus, two chapters in Ezekiel, a chapter in Proverbs, a chapter in John, and then I turned to Hebrews. I am reading through it, but it has always been difficult for me. Today I was ready for chapter 10, and as I was reading, I came to verse 13. It says, "Since that time, he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool." Notice a pattern? Well, I went back and reread the few verses before and after it slowly..over and over. Here is what I wrote in my Bible by those verses "Amazing love! My enemies are really His enemies. They want to hurt me to hurt Him. My Savior hurts when I hurt. Through hurting me, Satan hurts my Lord. What incredible love and devotion." Ya know...this was a break through for me. I have been wrestling with guilt over things I have done for years. Whenever I have obvious, rebellious sin I will struggle with guilt for days. I have trouble reading my Bible or praying or anything. I have always felt "not good enough" and I always have felt the need to please others. To be the nice girl. You know, the Bible never says anything about being "nice." It is just so difficult for me to believe that Christ hurts when I hurt. That humanness, that compassion....it is hard for me to understand. But He does. And He has already given His life to set me free from my pain. Pretty cool, huh!

 

Here he is....

Welcome Ranger!

We are in love! I finally got a puppy! He is really smart. He has only had one accident in the house. Yeah! He sits at my feet and just looks at me after he does his business outside.  He can't figure out how to get up our stairs yet......but it is sure cute watching him try!

You Have Been Good

I made this video last night with some of my favorite pictures and another of my favorite songs....Lord, You have been so good to me....

I found the male of my dreams....

and he is covered in white fur! :) I am just so excited to finally meet Frisco. Isn't he adorable? I will post lots of pictures. He is going to be one very spoiled dog.

I decided on a name.....

Frisco! It means freedom. I can't wait to get him. I will have a long road of training and house breaking, but I have done this before a few times and it is always worth it. Here is a picture that his breeder sent me today. I can't wait to get him.

MercyMe -

"I'm gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck and tell him that I've missed him and tell him all about the man that i became and hope that it pleased him there's so much I want to say there's so much i want you to know."

Oh, I miss my daddy....this song makes me cry.

Simple Faith...

It is interesting to me as I read God's word how he weaves the stories and verses together to help me to understand more about Him. I typically read from five or six books every morning. I always begin the day with a chapter in Psalms. Then I read a chapter in Proverbs and then I go where my bookmarks are located! I began the Old Testament over again a few months ago and right now I am in Exodus. I read the New Testament in two different places and right now I am in John and Hebrews. I am also reading a chapter in Lamentations everyday, as well. Today as I was reading about Moses and Aaron going to Pharaoh and ordering the plagues that God was sending, I kept thinking to myself, "God could have simply softened Pharaoh's heart as opposed to what the Bible says when it says He hardened his heart." It would seem simpler to me, but then again, I'm not God. And the older I get and the more trials and sufferings I have in my own life, the more I realize how powerful and mighty God is to save. It is through my trials that I realize His power. I believe that is why He allows them. To show me how mighty He is to save. Exodus 10:1-2 says, "Then the LORD said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the LORD." Pretty simple, really. God hardened Pharaoh's heart so He could demonstrate His might and so the children and grandchildren (and me) would hear of what He did and know that HE IS THE LORD. I guess I am really always amazed at how the Israelites saw all those miracles and still grumbled and complained and worried over what would happen to them. As I was reading in Hebrews this morning, after I finished in Exodus, God made something very clear to me. Hebrews 3 mentions those Israelite children who witnessed miracles and plagues performed on the Egyptians and were sent to roam in the desert for 40 years. Actually, God declared an oath that they would never enter His rest....never see the promised land, because of their unbelief. Hebrews 3:19 says, "So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief." What did they not believe? They simply did not believe God. They didn't believe His promises. They worried and complained because they simply did not believe. What an easy concept to understand....but a difficult concept to obey in my own life. When trials come and heartaches are overwhelming and I have prayed for the job I desire for months and see no end in sight and financial worries are overwhelming, what do I do? I begin to doubt. I begin to fear. I begin to worry and fret. What does that mean for me? I am no different from those Israelites. I am not believing God. I am not believing that He will provide. He will deliver. He will restore. I, like the Israelites, can look back and see where God has been faithful....every single time He has been faithful. I have nothing to fear. I can simply pray, trust and BELIEVE. I do not want to hear the Lord say of me, "You are not able to enter because of your unbelief."

So what, I am a rockstar, I got my rock moves...

.....and I don't need you tonight!....he he!

 

I am sure once this footage gets out every recording company in America will want to sign me. Watch out Britney Spears. Here I come!

 

Come Unto Me- Nichole Mullen cover

Another one of my favorite songs by Nichole C. Mullen. This girl sings it well, too.

He works all things according to the counsel of His will....

Ephesians 1:11 I am reminded today as I sit and ponder on the things God allows into my life, that He is sovereign. He is always working things according to His will.  I woke up this morning around 5 and my first thoughts went to heartaches in my life. Things I can't change. People I can't change. Situations I can't change. I lay in bed for about 30 minutes as my mind just raced with all the anxieties and stresses of the day, and of course, past hurts. I woke up grumbling and depressed. Is it any wonder? Mornings like that it is difficult to do anything. Prayers are hard to utter. Reading my Bible is nearly impossible. Why? Because when I spend my time thinking about things that I can't change I am focusing on myself.....focusing on my problems and hurts and not on the One who controls the moon and the stars....and even knows the hairs on my head.  As I lay in bed thinking about one thing in particular that has caused me great pain, I started thinking of ways I could make it different. What could I do to change that situation? Oh, I am the great manipulator. The great deceiver. I wonder what my parents would have named me had I been born in Bible days....a time when names reflected one's character. All my life I have learned how to manipulate situations to try to get what I wanted...to try to get them to turn out as I saw fit. The funny thing is, looking back now, I realize I have caused myself much more harm than had I let go and given it to God. Isn't that the way it is? That is the way Satan operates. He starts by reminding me of my past mistakes, hurts, problems and then he tells me that it will always be the same in the future, unless I do something about it. But that is completely opposite of what God's word teaches. God shows me that I can let it go. I can give it to Him. I can rest in the fact that "He works all things according to the counsel of His will." All things. All things in my life are being worked out by a loving Father who promises to make them good...beautiful someday. If I hold on to His promises and trust Him, I can just give the situation to Him and trust that someday, it will bring sunshine and not rain.  What an amazing promise. It sure takes a lot of work off of my shoulders. I don't have to fret. I can simply trust.

If You Say Go

I love this song. I pray this is my heart's cry to the Lord every single day I have breath in my body.

Thinking About Prayer

I have really been wrestling with my prayer life lately. It isn't that I don't understand prayer, it's just that I don't understand prayer. Say what? O.k., let me back up and start over. I guess what I am trying to say is I don't understand prayer. I know I can go to the throne of grace at any time, any moment, any second of the day and I will find my heavenly Father there waiting and listening. I love those quiet moments with God. I love to just talk to the Lord and pour out my heart. I do it often. That is the easy part of prayer. It is the other side of prayer, the asking part of prayer, where I think it gets harder. I spent two months during my seminary days researching and studying prayer. I read everything from C.S. Lewis to C.H. Spurgeon (ever noticed how all the great preachers and theologians seem to go by their initials? I think I will officially be called M.J. Brant from now on :) to try to grasp what others learned about prayer. I read all the Bible commentaries on prayer. I prayed about prayer. I asked God to reveal to me His thoughts on prayer. I desperately desire to be a women of prayer. But here is where I struggle. Is it my will or God's will? Is it a selfish desire or God's desire? Here is something I read this morning from Streams in the Desert devotionals that started this entire thought process again for me. Beware...it's heavy.....

 

"Jesus saith unto him, Go thy way; thy son liveth. And the man believed the word that Jesus had spoken unto him, and he went his way" (John 4:50).

"When ye pray, believe" (Mark 11:24).

When there is a matter that requires definite prayer, pray till you believe God, until with unfeigned lips you can thank Him for the answer. If the answer still tarries outwardly, do not pray for it in such a way that it is evident that you are not definitely believing for it. Such a prayer in place of being a help will be a hindrance; and when you are finished praying, you will find that your faith has weakened or has entirely gone. The urgency that you felt to offer this kind of prayer is clearly from self and Satan. It may not be wrong to mention the matter in question to the Lord again, if He is keeping you waiting, but be sure you do so in such a way that it implies faith. Do not pray yourself out of faith. You may tell Him that you are waiting and that you are still believing Him and therefore praise Him for the answer. There is nothing that so fully clinches faith as to be so sure of the answer that you can thank God for it. Prayers that pray us out of faith deny both God's promise in His Word and also His whisper "Yes," that He gave us in our hearts. Such prayers are but the expression of the unrest of one's heart, and unrest implies unbelief in reference to the answer to prayer. "For we which have believed do enter into rest" (Heb. 4:3). This prayer that prays ourselves out of faith frequently arises from centering our thoughts on the difficulty rather than on God's promise. Abraham "considered not his own body," "he staggered not at the promise of God" (Rom. 4:19, 20). May we watch and pray that we enter not into temptation of praying ourselves out of faith. --C. H. P.

Whew. That's deep. I understand, somewhat, what the author is trying to say. But that is where I struggle. The Bible says to ask and pray and keep on asking and keep on knocking. But how do you answer the wife who just buried her husband whose body was ravaged with cancer, when she prayed day and night for two years for God to heal his body and restore him back to health so he could father their two teenage sons? Did she not pray in faith believing that God would heal him? Oh, but she did. It is the age old, question, I guess. And then there is the great preacher and man of God that I respect very much named Jim Cymbala, who is the pastor of the Brookfield Tabernacle in Brookyln, NY, who says that we get wrapped up in our theological jargon when we say we don't know if it is the Lord's will. He claims that is often times simply a lack of faith. But back to the devotional above where he writes, "the urgency that you felt to offer this kind of prayer is clearly from self and Satan." I have been there. I have cried out to God for desperate relief to my pain, and looking back now, I gave up on praying those short-lived prayers (well, o.k. one was a four year prayer) but eventually I saw that God clearly had said no to my prayer, but I also came to realize that it was a selfish prayer to begin with. What is it James says? You have not because you ask with selfish desires? (my paraphrase) I have been guilty of praying myself out of faith. I am learning to ask the Lord to test everything I prayer for and see if there is any wicked offense in me, and lead me to the path ever lasting. I am learning to ask the Lord to reveal to me the truth behind my prayers and the motives behind them. It is often that I can even convince myself that my heart is pure, when in fact, it is very selfish. I guess to be a women of prayer, takes hours and hours of practice. I have so far to go. But I am also learning that I know Christ's heartbeat. I know His tender ways. I know His loving touch. I am learning to hear His voice. It is becoming louder than my own. I am learning that I like that.

2009 Has arrived....

And I am not even sure where 2008 went. Emmie has been really sick and now she has passed it on to me. I took her to Urgent Care on New Year's Eve and they said her ear was badly infected. I hate antibiotics, but they gave her some and said she really needed them to clear up this infection. She actually smiled for me on the way home. First smile I saw all day. I think she looks so cute in this picture. And also above are just some random pics taken in the past few days.

Trying to email pictures to blogger.

 

 

Christmas 2008

Hello Friends,

Ecc. 3:1 says, "Nothing is better for them than to rejoice and to do good in their lives." I write to you all on this first day of 2009 to rejoice and thank God for each of you and the lessons I have learned with you along this journey of life. I guess the older I get (no comment) the more reflecting I do with each passing day and the more sentimental it makes me. I have been reading the book of Genesis and I love the story of Joseph. Here was a man thrown into prison because Potiphar's wife said he tried to rape her....and he had done nothing wrong. He was sold by his brothers into slavery and then finally got a good position in Potiphar's house and then this wicked woman accuses him of something he didn't do and the poor guy is thrown into prison...again; two wrongs stacked against him. And then he interprets the cupbearer's dream and asks to be remembered when he gets out of prison and even the cupbearer forgets him. The Bible says in the next chapter that "after two years had passed...." Pharaoh had a dream and the cupbearer suddenly remembered Joseph and Pharaoh sent for him. Two years.....I wonder what he was thinking that whole time. I don't really wonder....I am sure I can guess. I am sure you could, too. "God has forgotten me...." or "God doesn't love me..." or "God doesn't hear my prayer...." or maybe just simply "why me?" Can't we all relate? But then comes the part about that story that I love the most. If you read the words of Pharaoh after Joseph is cleaned up and shaved and interprets Pharaoh's dream....well....it makes me realize exactly what I want for my life. Genesis 41 says that Pharaoh says to Joseph...."Can we find anyone like this man? The spirit of God is within him...." and he put him in charge of the entire country and gave him his most beautiful daughter as a wife. Isn't that sweet? Joseph wasn't sitting around sulking and feeling miserable while he was in jail...although who could blame him? He was spending time with the Lord. He was growing in His love and His devotion to the Almighty. His faith was tested and his strength was tried and he was clinging tightly to the One he knew would save and restore him. You know what words I desire to hear the most for my own life? "The spirit of God is within her." I don't want people to say..."poor girl...she's been through so much." I just want Jesus to shine from within me. That is what has come from my exile. My challenges. My sufferings. It isn't what I wanted, but it is everything I have needed. God has turned my brokenness and pain and heartache into a love for His word and a desire within me to really know Him. To really love Him and see His goodness and His providence and His grace. How awesome. (although I still whine sometimes...no comment on that, either! ha!) Looking back now, I really would not change a thing. I think back and remember all the times I have asked God to remove my trials and yet I am now so grateful for them. I love what Joseph says to his brothers at the end of Genesis, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done. The saving of many lives." What an attitude. I want to be like that. I believe God is preparing a great task for me and for you like he did for Joseph and I pray we are found spending time with the Father in preparation for it. Make us strong and courageous, Oh Lord. There are many lives needing saved today.

I pray I love and not hold back. I pray to always be a friend. I pray to live with no fear. I pray to live fully and completely each and every day, regardless of the circumstances I encounter. I want to drink in every drop of life. I want to take the bitter with the sweet. I pray to see heartache and be a comfort. I pray to feel joy and share great laughter. I pray to know tears and compassion for those who are dying in sin.

Here is a part of the lyrics to one of my favorite songs by Nichole Nordeman....and it is my prayer today for you and for me....

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view
If no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat

and we'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are bless'd beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace ...

But, Jesus, would You please ...

God bless, my sweet friends....and as my dad always used to say to me, "May the Lord bless and keep you, may His face shine upon you".....

Love you all,

Melissa