A footstool for my feet...

I was reading my Bible this morning and I am just amazed at something God
taught me. I always start reading a Psalm and this morning it was 110. The very first verse just jumped off the pages of my Bible as I was reading. I could just hear the Lord telling me to read it again. Carefully. It says, "The Lord says to my Lord, "Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet." I kept reading it over and over and trying to understand what that meant. I wrote in the pages of my Bible these words "Be still and wait...sit...all these things that brought me so much and suffering in my life will become my comfort and peace in the end because God will use them to heal me." I really just kept pondering that verse, even as I read the rest of that Psalm. Well, then I read a chapter in Exodus, two chapters in Ezekiel, a chapter in Proverbs, a chapter in John, and then I turned to Hebrews. I am reading through it, but it has always been difficult for me. Today I was ready for chapter 10, and as I was reading, I came to verse 13. It says, "Since that time, he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool." Notice a pattern? Well, I went back and reread the few verses before and after it slowly..over and over. Here is what I wrote in my Bible by those verses "Amazing love! My enemies are really His enemies. They want to hurt me to hurt Him. My Savior hurts when I hurt. Through hurting me, Satan hurts my Lord. What incredible love and devotion." Ya know...this was a break through for me. I have been wrestling with guilt over things I have done for years. Whenever I have obvious, rebellious sin I will struggle with guilt for days. I have trouble reading my Bible or praying or anything. I have always felt "not good enough" and I always have felt the need to please others. To be the nice girl. You know, the Bible never says anything about being "nice." It is just so difficult for me to believe that Christ hurts when I hurt. That humanness, that compassion....it is hard for me to understand. But He does. And He has already given His life to set me free from my pain. Pretty cool, huh!